Blind & Certain Trust within Your Soul

It’s approaching 6 AM when my house starts to stir. By that time, Andrew already methodically preps for work and before the sun gets a chance to shine on our street, I hear the baby stand up in his crib, happily squealing to let me know he’s ready for the day. At the same time another bedroom door creaks open, revealing a mess of blond hair and a sweet face sucking his fingers with the other hand clutching his stuffed lion. The Little Sciba men are up with one immediate, unspoken demand – food.

At 11 months and 2 1/2, my boys know that their lives involve certain givens; food, clothes, our house, water, more food. True, they don’t quite “understand” that these commodities must be earned by Mama and Daddy before being made available for use or consumption, but my kids count on them. It doesn’t occur to them that provisions won’t be made because their trust in their parents as steady providers is unshakable and uncompromised. They have that “childlike faith” down. Their simple, daily expectations are humble. They can’t do for themselves and so they count on me to do for them. As a kid, you just expect certain things to be in place – electricity on, water running, gas in the car – though how they’re taken care of is beyond your knowledge or experience. You don’t need to see how things will be provided, though, because your provider is consistent.

Per usual, parenthood lends itself to countless reflections on my own relationship with God.

photo by moominmolly

God has been providing for me since conception. His generosity is ceaseless from every paycheck to every breath I take in a minute and there is no one who surpasses his trustworthiness. No one. And yet anxiety occasionally plagues me, worries eat at me, doubt consumes my mind reeling with wonder at what the future will hold. My kids don’t lay awake at night scared about getting a job or how bills will be paid because they trust that Andrew and I will continue taking care of things. As a child of God, where is my trusting faith in my Father? My Father who never ceases to offer everything that is His (Luke 15:31).

The boys trust that food will come when they want/need it; but they don’t lay in their beds waiting for it. They pursue their needs by going where they know the food will be provided – the kitchen table of course. Without wandering around the house looking under couch cushions for a snack (though they might find one!) or rummaging dressers for breakfast, their trust is an active one. No matter what your obstacle(s) in life, God offers you his provision, but you have to come take it. If you don’t have a job, you have to apply and interview instead of sitting at home waiting for a random phone call. If you have a disagreement with someone, then contact them in humble and earnest pursuit of peace and understanding. If you have a life-long flaw within yourself and you need the grace of God, then frequent Mass and Confession and set aside solid prayer time for yourself.

ALL of God’s generosity, peace, and grace are available to every man, but not every man is willing to pursue and receive them. You are God’s child and He wants only good things for you, but you have to go to Him to accept. You have to actively trust.