Vocation involves monotony; there is so much sameness played on repeat; work and sleep without much in between, and I tell you what, I have been really feeling this reality lately. The moment my toes touch the floor, the morning is hurried and the rest of the day thrown together. The kids are my alarm as I reach over for a supportive touch from the husband, but brush his cool pillow instead – it’s his prayer time and he’s been out of bed and the house for a while. I have an hour to get the Catholic Kids fed, make a lunch for Andrew, and locate vaguely clean clothes for the boys before a quick Bye, Love! kiss and rush to get our 4 year old to preschool. Homeschooling, pick up aforementioned preschooler, lunch, forced outside time, What’s for dinner?!! Hey Baby, how was your day? leave the dishes in the sink, fantasize about investing in whole-life paper plates, pajamas and brushing four sets of tiny teeth, add the day’s undone chores to tomorrow’s list.
Second verse! Same as the first…
photo by DanielJames; I can’t tell you how many yawns I caught looking at this sweet baby
It’s so easy for me to be exhausted and rebellious in the midst of repetition – I feel restless and occasionally I’m jumping for the chance to do something fresh and different; but, on [ALL THE] days when that opportunity isn’t afforded, I have to remain. Caught up in myself and my own world, looking out the window at the heat or the rain, the conditions are right for ennui.
This isn’t exclusive to the life at home. I remember countless days of this feeling when I was working full time; no matter how much I loved my job (and I did!), there were days when I would glance at the clock once and then again 5 minutes later, feeling like an eternity had passed between. It was this way in school too – even as far back as elementary.
Do you ever just wish you were somewhere else?
On one of my hardest mornings, I waved goodbye to Andrew from the porch and, seeing a plane soar overhead, I cried because I wished so painfully that I were on it. Who cares where it was going? Somebody take me away!
Life is repetitious and stuck in the rut, we trudge through hoping for a thrill or some bit of excitement to whisk us away to a land of everlasting newness; a place where we’re not the ones in charge all of the time, where we can be fancy-free and laughing all the way. I’m diving into the Diary of St. Faustina and came upon this blessed passage that at once I knew applied to those of us who endure that love/hate relationship with the daily grind:
O life so dull and monotonous, how many treasures you contain! When I look at everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear. The grace which is given me in this hour will not be repeated in the next. It may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. (St. Faustina, paragraph 62)
When we seek and find God in our days, in our drudge, it’s no longer a drudge. God offers us countless graces to not just get through the day but to fully live it and experience it. It’s funny how little truths you hear your whole life suddenly hit you one late night – and the one that just struck me is that God has a plan for me TODAY. How will I respond to His abundant offering of various graces? He has a plan for my tomorrow as well and if I’m open and attentive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, then I’ll be able to follow accordingly. The Life in Christ is never inwardly dull, though routine and monotony may remain, God is certainly not the Author of boredom.
I came that they might have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)
edited re-post from September 2012
featured image by Javier Vieras; text added by Katie Sciba
God’s timing is awesome! I have been having a pity party this whole weekend because I wanted some “fun” in my life or ANYTHING out of the ordinary. Your article was very inspiring to me. Thank you!
Thank you for this post! great way to start my day 🙂
love it. i have been feeling the same old routine for a bit now.
This is my first visit to your lovely blog. Mothers of today are so blessed to be able to share with one another in this format!
I am in hopes of imparting a bit of wisdom for any Mom that needs a bit of encouragement. Even at this moment I fight the tears, as I am placing myself back into my past.
I am a single Mom of 6 children. My marriage was not a good one, more of struggles day upon day. I looked forward to the late night when my husband would finally come home and I could go for my routine walk in the dark to pray my rosary.
My children are mostly grown now, and the last 8 years I have been raising them alone. There have been some very intense challenges along the way, and sometimes it felt that I was all alone in the quagmire and that I wouldn’t survive- as my children’s father did everything he could to make my life a living purgatory after the divorce. (but God has a marvelous plan!)
With that out of the way, I want to say that God has blessed you Moms with the absolute highest calling…. you have been chosen for just such a time as this. He has given you these precious souls to raise because He trusts you to do it. He will “fill in the blanks” when you are spent. He will turn situations around “on a dime” if need be; and I can say that everything does work out for good for all of His children. So many things that I thought were important back then, have been long forgotten. You will be amazed at what really WAS important and what you remember. My children do not remember what I remember, and that hurt me for awhile, but I have accepted it now as it is their history. They don’t remember me running all around the playground between the various swings (for the assorted ages) to make sure everyone had a “time”. I had 4 children in diapers of various ages, and because of the nature of the marriage, through the embarrassment of it all, I stayed to myself and took care of my little brood alone. However, with that said, I was never alone. Due to the constant challenges, I believe, God and His holy Mother allowed themselves to be felt by me, and manifested their presence to me more than once. I knew, when I took my quiet time, that they were WITH me.
I want to say now, to all of you Moms- you are NOT alone, although it feels like the world is tumbling in upon you and other women are getting all the attention, and getting their nails done, and have a clean house ALL the time. And maybe your body is not shaped the way it used to be. Those things are all temporary. What you hold in your hands is the future! These precious souls that Our Lord has blessed you with will one day thank you for all your efforts, and all your prayers. Your nurturing and loving the child through his/her ups and downs can never be measured except in the rewards when they are grown! You WILL find time to do the things you would like to do now, but can’t. God understands and is so proud of all of you for fighting the “good fight”. I can’t stress that enough. One of the things, He imparted to me, during my constant diaper changing and sorting through all the tears and whines of my kids, was to say, “all for the love of Jesus, my Lord and my God.”
Today, when my children and I, walk together anywhere, we are a crowd! We are very close today, and they have come to understand what in this life is of real worth. As for me, they are my greatest blessing, and I can’t get over how fast it all flew by!! Would I do it all again?? You bet I would, despite the myriads of challenges and lack of adult attention and pretty things. In time, everything works, and if we have invested our time and our talents wisely, it is amazing the wealth we have accumulated when we are grey haired! The blessings just keep on coming.
Praise be Jesus and His lovely Mother Mary, and may you all know of His intense love for each of you and your precious charges! (All of heaven is rooting for each of you and so very proud to be part of your family!!)
Greetings from Australia!
I am new to this blog and this article is also very timely for me too.
I am a busy mother of three children who has thankfully gotten past the diaper stage, but who are still in need of constant attention. I also work four days a week in a professional capacity. The work is interesting and varied, but taxing when you work in a small company that needs to the same amount of work as a large one. The fact that I start my day at 2am is testimony to that, I guess.
“My” time starts at 3 am, when I do the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I find great comfort in praying for my family and other souls who need our love and prayers. I relive Jesus’ passion and reflect on my stresses for the day. His suffering puts mine into perspective, I guess. I loved St Faustina’s diary- I am sure you will find great comfort too.
To “allforthelove”, you remind me of my own mother. Although the marriage was a good one, my parents were immigrants from Portugal, so hard work was the norm. I remember her strain and the lack of opportunities to enjoy being a woman. At 63, she still works hard and I love her so dearly for her presence throughout my life, rather than the presents I received during those early years.
Her legacy to me is one of hard work, drudgery and dedication- although it sounds odd to say so. Those gifts have taught me to “stay the course” especially now as I juggle home and work life.
On of our weekly one-hour coffees (which is all we have time for at the moment), she was down about her achievements in life. True, she never had much schooling and still works long hours on a cold factory floor. Yes, she worries about retirement and how she will cope on a shoestring budget. But her greatest achievement is her three children. Three adults who have a strong faith, who work hard and have “good jobs” because of the sacrifices made by their parents. Three adults who are doing their best to be the best parents they can be. Three parents who are striving to instil the same principles that our parents instilled in us.
Yes, as mothers we have a very important job raising these little souls in our care. But we have you, our mothers, to thank and to guide us (with Our Lord’s and His Mother, Mary’s help of course) on this special role in life. So hang in there, Moms!
Thanks for this very timely blog.
Katie, I needed to read your blog today. I’m a 66 y.o. homemaker. My husband of 41 years and I have 4 adult children and 7 grand children. Forty one years ago I gave up a teaching career to be a supportive wife and a stay at home mother to our children. Our 28 y.o. son has cerebral palsy and is non ambulatory and has intellectual disabilities. My life is centered around being the caregiver of our son and to give him a life that he can live to the fullness of his ability.. My husband is retired but we cannot go away on vacations together because it is difficult to get someone to care for our son while we are gone. My days are mundane and I often feel restless. I feel as though I am not living my life to the fullness. I miss being out in society and having the freedom to come and go as I choose to do. I have been thinking of joining a Catholic support group for caregivers but I keep putting that thought aside. At my age I’m beginning to wonder if it is time for my son to go into a “group home”. What if my health fails and I can no longer be my son’s main caregiver? Everyday I ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten me and to give me peace of mind about my anxieties about my simple, non adventurous and repetitive lifestyle. Your blog brought me some insight that perhaps God wants me to live a simple life. Thank you and God bless.
When I was young, I wanted an interesting life. Now, I teach my children that an ordinary life is something for which to strive. My life has never been ordinary and I crave the mundane. I have raised four children in extraordinary circumstances — a first husband who suffered from mental illness and finally took his own life and a second husband who may well be a sociopath, recently charged with the sort of crimes that make mothers cry. At an age when those with ordinary lives will be looking forward to retirement, to grandchildren, to spending time with each other, I am starting over, yet again. Last week, the “For Sale” sign went up on the lawn of the house I once thought would be the home to which my grandchildren came to visit. I am forced to leave it all behind, again, and face my final decades in the same living situation that most people see at twenty.
Still, I thank God for the blessings I have received — wonderful children whom I love with all my heart, good friends who have been there for me when I felt so foolish, so alone, a personality that forces me to keep going, to learn to do things in my later middle age that I always thought a husband would do for me.
Thank God every day for your ordinary lives, for the children who exhaust you, to the husbands that mow the lawn and pay the bills and attend parent-teacher conferences with you. Be grateful for the routine, undisturbed by crisis and tragedy. Be grateful for the mundane and remember that you serve both God and your family in the way that Our Blessed Mother did. There is nothing better.
When I was young, I wanted an interesting life. Now, I teach my children that an ordinary life is something for which to strive. My life has never been ordinary and I crave the mundane. I have raised four children in extraordinary circumstances — a first husband who suffered from mental illness and finally took his own life and a second husband who may well be a sociopath, recently charged with the sort of crimes that make mothers cry. At an age when those with ordinary lives will be looking forward to retirement, to grandchildren, to spending time with each other, I am starting over, yet again. Last week, the “For Sale” sign went up on the lawn of the house I once thought would be the home to which my grandchildren came to visit. I am forced to leave it all behind, again, and face my final decades in the same living situation that most people see at twenty.
Still, I thank God for the blessings I have received — wonderful children whom I love with all my heart, good friends who have been there for me when I felt so foolish, so alone, a personality that forces me to keep going, to learn to do things in my later middle age that I always thought a husband would do for me.
Thank God every day for your ordinary lives, for the children who exhaust you, to the husbands that mow the lawn and pay the bills and attend parent-teacher conferences with you. Be grateful for the routine, undisturbed by crisis and tragedy. Be grateful for the mundane and remember that you serve both God and your family in the way that Our Blessed Mother did. There is nothing better.
Thanks for this. How beautiful that such a trying time in your life is so incredibly fruitful for others. Please remind yourself every day that this blog is a ministry, and that my friend is not the least bit mundane or boring.:) God has give you an outlet for your beautiful thoughts and lovely soul and has chosen to work through you to bless your readers abundantly!
I read a lot of blogs, and no one else is writing like this that I’ve found so far. You are a special and blessed niche on the web I think.:)
Your thoughts are beautiful….most of life is dull and boring….but the life lead for Christ, to serve our family, friends, our community, our church is a hidden life. It so mirrors the life He shared with Our Blessed Mother and St Joseph, we are so blessed to share in that life. Our goal is to overcome our need for a rush of some kind of excitement and find the life on high with Jesus Christ! What ever that life that
He has fashioned for each of us. It is my prayer that you younger followers of Christ can find the peace of the mundane life to be a “high”. God Bless you all… from a wife of 37 yrs and mother of 7!!
Beautiful post, and after 24 years of raising children, driving them about, having to feed them Every. Single. Night., going to school events, etc., I really needed to read this today. Sometimes I feel panicky at the unrelenting repetition and sameness of it all. But of course change DOES come, and there are different seasons to parenting.
Ah yes – beautiful words, Leslie: “Change DOES come…” I’m so glad you liked it – thank you for your experienced encouragement. I’ve been in the mama game for just 5 1/2 years and sometimes the years ahead seem so daunting.
This struck me. Thank you for your honesty. This is so true, whether you are a mother, a father, someone who works at home or outside the home. Thank you.