Watching the Olympics is such a passionate experience – the emotions I feel sitting in front of a TV are intense as I witness the world’s most excellent athletes drive themselves to mind-blowing achievements. Last night I saw Oscar Pistorius rise to greatness racing without lower legs and McKayla Maroney fly off the vault reaching unimaginable heights. There was Sanya Richards Ross owning her finish line while her parents were joyfully shouting in the stands because she won a gold medal. The talent these people have is incredible and I’ll never understand the physical exertion spent throughout one’s life in order to win the crown, so to speak, mostly because I’ve maintained a pretty jack-of-all-trades approach to the activities in mine. (Ball player, dancer, pianist, volleyball player, equestrian, actress, vocalist, photographer – all things that could be added to my résumé.) And in a sense, because I had such a short attention span for many of my hobbies, tonight I watched the Olympics with a twinge of regret. I saw athletes my age and younger in possession of hardcore, natural skill, chiseled and developed over excruciating hours of hard work and dedication – I sat in my averageness wishing I that had found something in my life that had captured my passion; something calling me to push myself to the limit in order to achieve a greatness beyond measure.
Then I remembered my baptism, and one particular Scripture passage so dear to my soul:
24 Do you not know that in a stadium all the runners run the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. 25 Every athlete exercises discipline in all things. They do it to receive a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one. 26 Thus I do not run aimlessly, I do not fight as though I were shadowboxing; 27 No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified. (1 Cor. 9:24-27)
One thing I can attest to loving all my life is Catholicism and though the only medal I’ll wear around my neck is the Miraculous Medal, all of my life’s work is in pursuit of the imperishable crown. So often in my spiritual life, I feel like I’m running aimlessly and shadowboxing. There are a million devotions I want to practice and virtues I want to develop – daily Rosary, faithful recitation of the Angelus, daily Mass, lectio divina, Liturgy of the Hours, frequent adoration, etc. But where do I start? I love spiritual reading, but should I read the Bible, The Story of a Soul, or The Dialogues first? Or maybe I’ll look over my notes from my [rusty] theology degree from college. I’ll start one thing, and choose another all the while my soul is distracted and I feel little change within myself. It’s in these instances that I feel weak boxing at nothing, a far cry from focused and excellent as a Catholic. It’s easy to feel this way in wife-and-motherhood, too, with occasionally scattered, patched up efforts and little to show for them.
There is always hope in Christ, however, and so again I’m able to boast in him. Offering the Lord all that I have, he will take it, bless it, and use it to fulfill his will; and with him, I’ll no longer be boxing at nothing, but driving my soul to a purpose and eternal reward. To regard my soul as an athlete does his body is a challenging approach. Athletes abstain from junk food and choose healthier options, they spend their entire days refining their craft and striving for perfection; so must I do with my soul. I have to abstain from sin and choose always God’s will over mine. The best way for me to run so as to win is frequenting the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Eucharist and to maintain constant contact with God, breathing prayer as a runner would rhythmically inhale and exhale. Though my home doesn’t even begin to resemble an Olympic training center and my days don’t consist of rigorous physical exertion, I can spend my entire day wrapped in prayer refining my habits into virtues and striving to please God alone. Failure and injury will certainly happen (especially stepping on Legos), but what separates the Olympians from the spectators is that they never ceased training and never lost sight of their purposes and goals. It’s too easy to become distracted in this world, but with my eyes and soul fixed on the Crucifix, I hope to receive a heavenly crown for the glory of God.
Paragraph 2 in its entirety is exactly what I feel like. Should I read St. Augustine on my Kindle, or my Bible or say the rosary or do this or read that or – or- or…. “So often in my spiritual life, I feel like I’m running aimlessly and shadowboxing.” is aptly put.
Glad to hear there’s other folk like me.
I tell myself–all I can do is try….and try to do my best.
And yes…Miraculous Medal on my necklace in the center of 4 ‘kid’ charms.
God Bless You…
Sarah
When i was thinking about olympics, I too was thinking about St. Paul and his letter to Corinthians.We all are in a race to win the crowns. But quite often are side tracked. We have so many things to do , so many books to read and many many devotions. All are good and hope fully will strengthen us even to get the crown of martrydom
I suggest the best approach to forming a personal spirituality that won’t have you running in circles is: 1) Subscribe to daily Scripture reading sources such as WORD AMONG US or MAGNIFICAT. Or choose your own book of Scripture to read for 15 minutes daily. 2) The daily Rosary.
Thank you, John! Sometimes I need a reminder to maintain a simple, straightforward approach. God bless you!
Catherine,
From your list of avenues you have explored you have neglected to mention one and that is your wonderful gift of writing with passion and touching many souls. Thank you for sharing your precious gift. I’m so proud of you. I love you.
THANK YOU Mom! It means so much to make you proud! I love you, too!
Thank you for this post. I have been thinking about how scattered are my efforts. To know that we are not alone, that we share similar dilemma, is comforting and energizing. Gabrielle Douglas said it well; “Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things He does for me.” Whether our audience is large or little, whether our job is great or small, in all things praise the Lord, and He will direct them for the greater good.
While I pray most of the day, especially when I ask for forgiveness when I make a poor choice, I am still convinced that to focus my energies, and my choices, I need a very large calendar to plan out the rest of my days! LOL
God Bless
If one doesn’t get this it will tend to seem sacrilegious:
While praying the Rosary repeatedly, the Sorrowful Mysteries were transformed for me.
1st: pre-race focus, getting settled into the starting blocks
2nd: running and winning the race in the decisive showdown with Pilate
3rd: being crowned with the victor’s wreath of glory
4th: taking a victory lap with the flag
5th: on the winner’s podium, arms raised in a V for Victory!
That was the unveiling of the Paschal Mystery for me as far as I’m concerned.
Oh, thank you for also stating how hard it is to keep focus, as that’s my life! Unfinished scrap books, unfinished cross stitch, uncompleted knitting projects, and procrastination on using prayer helps! Easily distracted, it is punishment for me to do boring stuff…God help me, I’m counting on Heaven having one thrill after another with Jesus escorting me around!
Judy
Awesome post. I’m right there with you. As a fellow blogger, I loved and agreed with one of the above comments that you should remember how much prayer and spiritual dialogue with God comes through writing your blog. 🙂
Your writing is wonderful and so very inspirational. I agree with so many here about aspiring to do so much more for my spiritual war and often fall short. However, I have learned in psychology something that might help in this. It doesn’t really matter what you start on first or read first, just start a little on one thing at a time and gradually you will get to all you want to cover. I also agree that even one decade of a rosary daily to start will grow to more each day until you are enveloped in the joy of Our Lady helping you through so much more. Or reading just 5 or 10 minutes or one chapter or even half a chapter in scripture a day, or three verses in honor of the Holy Trinity each day will help you get to more and more fitting into your day. It is in the starting and the action of the doing that brings the momentum. Also, Muchael Brown’s site once had a profound statement for me from a woman who had a near death experience. She was told that she had to go back to finish her assignment, which she claimed she had none. Jesus told her that her daily work in witnessing Him through her life and love to her husband and her children were prayers and assignment enough for Him. Wow!