I don’t believe in coincidences. Not anymore. I used to – maybe a month ago, but recently my skepticism has met its match in too many “coincidences” to ignore.
I don’t believe in coincidences because I can say with all certainty that my soul is being pursued; not just pursued though – chased and hunted down by my forgiving and most merciful Savior. I went to Lake Charles last month for a book discussion on A Mother’s Rule of Life (a gem of a book that is a must-read for Catholic wives/mothers) and during our discussion the subject of Divine Mercy came up a time or two. I know little about Divine Mercy and St. Faustina, so I didn’t recall that part of our talk until much later. That night I stayed up talking with my hosts, the Dawsons, and like any parents would, we chatted away about our kids. We covered age, pregnancies, goofy moments, sleep habits, birthdays, you name it. They asked when my 11 month old was born: “October 5th of last year,” I said. “Oh lucky!” they exclaimed, “That’s the feast of St. Faustina!” Curious and a little embarrassed that I didn’t already know the feast coinciding with my son’s birthday, I asked about St. Faustina and it was that inquiry that opened up an awe-inspiring story that poured into my soul:
In short, when she was 18 St. Faustina (then Helena) desired to enter a convent, but was denied permission from her parents. Because of their refusal, Helena too refused “the call of grace” as she put it and she “tried to stifle it” by preoccupying herself with “vain things in life.” It’s classic “sinner” behavior to immerse yourself in things that aren’t of God to try to put Him on silent. It was when she was at a dance that Christ appeared to Helena saying, “How long shall I put up with you and how long will you keep putting Me off?”
How long will you keep putting Me off? It was at this point in hearing the story that I felt that, though my host was simply narrating Christ’s words to St. Faustina, His words were pointed directly at me. I’ve mentioned before that hesitation is one of my vices; I feel a prompt to pray but then occupy myself otherwise or I’ll consider helping another person but then convince myself that my aid is unnecessary. For sometime I have been feeling that I need to let go of this and other well-settled sins of mine, and ultimately my own will, in order that I would abandon myself to the Divine Will of Christ. First, let me say that I’m not fond of change, so the thought of needing a radical revolution within my soul is unnerving. I’ve had these habits for years and they’re comfortable – it’s feels easier to cling to vices rather than embracing God’s call to virtue.
I wondered at Christ’s question and knew that I didn’t have an answer for myself. What will it take for me to forget me and finally try to grow in holiness? When will I wake up and realize that the life in Christ is the only life? I was suddenly dumbstruck. Nothing could or would make me move toward prayer and virtue other than God’s grace because I’m so stuck in the mud of my own imperfection. And so I decided to be open – to have ears to hear what God wanted to tell me, though I had no clue how to listen.
When I drove to the Gulf the day after my conversation with the Dawsons, I was in the middle of praying a Chaplet of Divine Mercy when I came upon Our Lady Star of the Sea Catholic Church in Cameron. I stopped so I could go in and pray before the Blessed Sacrament and in the vestibule was a table of prayer cards – hundreds of them, but they were all the image of Divine Mercy. I resolved to get a copy of St. Faustina’s diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, when I got home and just a few days ago I finally went to the Catholic store in town to pick one up. They were out; “We never run out of those!” the store owner told me. I went home, and there was a box dropped with the mail on my stoop and inside was a brand new copy of St. Faustina’s diary, sent to me by a friend from college.
I’ve been eager to dive in and two nights ago, I finally got my chance! The boys were down for the night and Andrew had grading to do so I settled myself in my toasty bed with my new companion. I was warm and content, but these delights were interrupted when I remembered that I forgot to prep a bottle for Andrew to give to the baby if he woke up in the middle of the night (I feed him during the week, Andrew on the weekends giving me the opportunity to sleep all night.). No big deal, right? So what if Andrew would have to spend two minutes doing it himself at 2 AM? I was already in bed and comfortable – my poor husband was on his own. Trying to disregard the nagging thought of my small obligation, I flipped through St. Faustina’s diary and immediately fell upon these words of Christ to His beloved: “You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it” (The Diary, paragraph 742). I chuckled to myself, knowing that Christ was pulling me to serve my husband. I turned the page – page after page – to lose myself somewhere else and to just stay warm in my bed, but then I found the same words again in a different part of the Diary. “Fine!” I laughed and flipped open my covers, inviting a chill upon myself, and went quickly to the kitchen to wash and prep a bottle. I stood at the sink shaking my head in amused disbelief that Christ’s small message to me would be so direct and persistent. But that’s very much His way.
Call these events what you like, but I can’t consider them coincidences anymore; especially because I lived them and felt the pull to abandon myself to love Christ and others. You might be wondering what Divine Mercy is or even the rest of St. Faustina’s story and I’m still just discovering them myself. What’s important to note is that while yes, this is my unique experience, it’s also the way God calls us all. He tugs at us, prompts us to prayer, to do good works of mercy toward others (especially spouses), and to forget ourselves to focus on Him. We won’t be able to hear, however, if we’re not open to knowing His Will because we’re stubbornly clinging to our own sin. I have to let go of myself and my own desires to realize and fulfill what God asks of me.
Thanks for this post. I’m starting Notebook5 of Faustina’s diary at this point. It takes a long time to get through it. I started it nearly 3 months ago. Every page is so meaningful. I’ve had at least one substantial miracle. Your post inspires me to possibly write it up.
You should! For yourself, for others, for your family – miracles happen for us to spread the news of God’s mercy and goodness. God bless and thank you for your encouragement.
Great post Katie!
Welcome to His Divine Mercy, isn’t it wonderful! I never knew how close I could become with Our Lord if it were not for the introduction of St. Faustina. I discovered her at my first retreat soon after her beautification. Her Diary is an exercise for the soul, I don’t know who else to explain it. It brought me the humility needed in order to pray fully. It has been a treasure in my heart ever since.
Your first line caught my eye — ” I don’t believe in coincidences. Not anymore.” I have also come to that conclusion! The Lord DOES answer prayers everyday through HIs Divine Mercy, He DOES speak through others — we CAN give and receive His mercy through others. Praise the Lord!!!
Thank you for this great post! I read the first half of the diary, and promised her if she brought me a child I would use her name. Well, I got pregnant, which was a MIRACLE, and now we have a Clare Faustina! I have no doubt that she is a very powerful saint, with a gift of helping us learn more about Christ through his mercy!!!!
Katie, I love your blog. I am an old lady of 50, praying for the conversion of my 28 and 22 yr olds and their spouse/sig other and children to return to the Church, their Catholic faith and of course, the Sacraments. You will LOVE St. Faustina’s Diary and will soon find the Divine Mercy devotion to be a favorite!! I live in NH, and I am a Eucharistic Apostle of Divine Mercy (a cenacle of Divine Mercy Devotees) in my parish, and I live 3 hours away from Stockbridge, MA where the Nat’l Shrine of Divine Mercy is located. The Diary is much like the Bible; you will read something from it and instantly you will assimilate it to something that is happening in your life, your faith, your soul. Discovering the depths of Our Lord’s unfathomable Divine Mercy will enrich you as a mother, a wife, a woman and a Catholic living in 2012.
Until my daughter and son return ‘home’ to Christ and the Church again and I can share the fullness of faith with them, I challenge YOU to live the messages of Divine Mercy out in your marriage and while parenting your children. I will pray that you love this devotion, and spread the message of Trust and Mercy to your family and the world. You won’t be disappointed…and, our Lord will be thrilled that you are not ‘ignoring’ his promptings any more!
For Souls,
D Landolfi
Rochester, NH
Dear Donna,
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and your most-welcomed challenge. I will pray for you and your children, that they will return to the Church. St. Monica and St. Augustine, pray for us!
I have found, too, that the Diary is a wealth of wisdom and peace; and simultaneously a huge challenge to abandon myself. Thank you for your kind words. God bless!
Thanks Katie, neither “I don’t believe in coincidences because”, I am writing about it for over 14 years,
when I encountered Divine Mercy and
after reading your testimony next I read on Spirit daily:
Priest’s grave moved at night.
…
http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=1162657
…Fr Jarzebowski founded the Divine Mercy College for the sons of Polish exiles at Fawley Court after the Second World War and is a candidate for beatification…
Ordained on September 30, 1923, he spent the next 14 years in pastoral and youth ministry at Bielany House. It was while Fr. Joseph worked in Lithuania from 1939 to 1941 that he met Fr. Michael Sopocko and first heard the story of the Divine Mercy Apostolate.
WOW! That’s amazing! Thank you for your comment and God bless!
Thanks Katie, neither ”I don’t believe in coincidences because”, I am writing about it for over 14 years,
when I encountered Divine Mercy and
after reading your testimony next I read on Spirit daily:
Priest’s grave moved at night.
…
http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=1162657
…Fr Jarzebowski founded the Divine Mercy College for the sons of Polish exiles at Fawley Court after the Second World War and is a candidate for beatification…
Ordained on September 30, 1923, he spent the next 14 years in pastoral and youth ministry at Bielany House. It was while Fr. Joseph worked in Lithuania from 1939 to 1941 that he met Fr. Michael Sopocko and first heard the story of the Divine Mercy Apostolate.
I read further on your blog: “My soul’s desire is to obtain sainthood through living my vocation and undergoing constant conversion to Christ. I dedicate all my efforts and reflections to the glory of God, through the intercession of St. Elizabeth of Hungary.
Who was renowned not only by her compassion for the poor, but also her deep love for her husband.”
My wife name is Elizabeth, her niece Blanca was born on Elizabeth of Portugal, •Great-niece of Elizabeth of Hungry, which is your Independence Day.
St. Elizabeth of Portugal, pray for peace in your homeland!
“Do not forget that when sovereigns are at war they can no longer busy themselves with their administration; justice is not distributed; no care is taken of the people; and this alone is their sovereign charge.”
“If you love peace, all will be well.”
“God made me queen so that I may serve others.”
An today I received from Jennifer:
http://www.wordsfromjesus.com/
9/8/12 7:25 PM
My child, I tell My people to give thanks to your Heavenly Father that out of His abundant love He is allowing this final hour of mercy to overflow upon the world. Do not be ignorant children for nothing of this world can prepare you for what is about to fall upon humanity.
It is through your faith and trust in Me for I am Jesus that will give you the strength to persevere. Worldly preparations cannot sustain you from the spiritual battle for the time has come to get down on your knees and bind your Rosaries in prayer for that is why My Mother has been coming. She has been coming to teach you and guide you on the road to salvation.
My Mother is your greatest intercessor to Me for I am Jesus. Listen! Listen to your Mother My children, for it is then that you are obedient to her son. The days are changing and rapidly the world is descending into the darkest of days. The earth is moaning the pains of labor and she is about to give birth to the sins that have driven humanity onto this path.
You are given one life, one soul and it is the hour to live in conformity to My Commandments. It is time to live out your vocation and not turn away because of your selfish desires. This world is changing and in the blink of an eye you will see My words open up before you.
You have been warned My children, warned out of love. I give man his free will and in that free will you are either complying fully to My Commandments without reservation or you are falling to the ways of the world. Live in the truth My children, for then you live in Me for I am Jesus and My mercy and justice will prevail.
And today I received from Jennifer:
http://www.wordsfromjesus.com/
9/8/12 7:25 PM
My child, I tell My people to give thanks to your Heavenly Father that out of His abundant love He is allowing this final hour of mercy to overflow upon the world. Do not be ignorant children for nothing of this world can prepare you for what is about to fall upon humanity.
It is through your faith and trust in Me for I am Jesus that will give you the strength to persevere. Worldly preparations cannot sustain you from the spiritual battle for the time has come to get down on your knees and bind your Rosaries in prayer for that is why My Mother has been coming. She has been coming to teach you and guide you on the road to salvation.
My Mother is your greatest intercessor to Me for I am Jesus. Listen! Listen to your Mother My children, for it is then that you are obedient to her son. The days are changing and rapidly the world is descending into the darkest of days. The earth is moaning the pains of labor and she is about to give birth to the sins that have driven humanity onto this path.
You are given one life, one soul and it is the hour to live in conformity to My Commandments. It is time to live out your vocation and not turn away because of your selfish desires. This world is changing and in the blink of an eye you will see My words open up before you.
You have been warned My children, warned out of love. I give man his free will and in that free will you are either complying fully to My Commandments without reservation or you are falling to the ways of the world. Live in the truth My children, for then you live in Me for I am Jesus and My mercy and justice will prevail.
St Faustina is amazing. My sister-in-law prayed to her to find a husband and promised to name their first daughter after her. She also gave me St. Faustina’s diary….which I pick up every day, so powerful.
I totally understand what you mean about not thinking there are any coincidences. I too have really been thinking about this lately. Ever since I read Immaculée Ilibagiza’s book, Left to Tell, I can see that God is in charge of everything around me, every day! I am never alone!
My husband and I use NFP but I personally have always struggled with “trusting” it 100%. God has blessed our family with 3 children under the age of 4 and some days I just don’t feel like I could handle another anytime soon. Other days I can’t wait to be pregnant again! Anyway, I was talking to a preist a few weeks ago about how to deal with my fears and he made me feel so much better about it. We prayed together about it and I left feeling like every thing would work out. The best part of the story is that a few days after talking with the priest, I randomly met a woman who has been practicing NFP for 7 years and has had 2 planned pregnancy’s. We talked for hours and she helped me so incredibly much. I know that it was not an accident that she came into my life. Just another example of how present God is in our daily lives, he does listen to us when we pray to him and ask him for help!
It was a gift to have you with us! I guess this means you need to make another trip down. David gave me the book for my birthday when we were engaged… over five years ago. I am half-way through. It’s so dense, but God has me read it just when I need it. He is so faithful… and persistent isn’t he. I pray our paths cross (in person) again.
I’m HOPING to make another trip down! Next time for the marriage retreat in December maybe!