I was 12 when I fell for him

We hadn’t met. I hadn’t seen his face or heard his name. We wouldn’t go on a date for another 7 years, but I was just 12 years old when I fell for Andrew.

As a kid, I was perpetually wide-eyed and open-eared to my big sister Jen. Whatever she said was gold and I took her advice to the letter. In the middle of casual chat, Jen lit up with an idea, “You should start praying for your future husband, Katie!” I tried not to smile. My adolescent cheeks burned with embarrassment at the thought of a relationship beyond a distant crush. Seeing me blush, she pressed, “No really – if God calls you get married, then your husband’s out there somewhere and you could pray for him now.”

It was thrilling to consider. Somewhere, at that exact same minute, he was living his life. The idea of praying for him years before even knowing who he was gave me a sense of commitment and hope.  Suddenly I saw my struggles in light of my future vocation. Striving for chaste dating relationships in high school and college had a purpose beyond momentary self-restraint. I wanted to develop spiritually on my own to allow God to work in my soul so I could eventually follow his will to my husband. But just in case God steered me to a different kind of veil, I kept my efforts in mind for a possible future convent, too.

I did my best to make it routine. I prayed for his protection when I drove to movies or football games on the weekends, that whatever he was doing that night he would make good decisions and be kept safe. I prayed for him during Mass. My favorite favorite song back then was “The Prayer” by Charlotte Church and Josh Groban and because I’m not quite blessed with the same opera lungs as Ms. Church, I not-so-gracefully squawked belted that song for my future husband and me – that we’d be wise and faithful, hopeful in trials, and receptive to God’s grace.

I know this is a cliffhanger.

We met. “I’m Drew Sciba.” Oh hello.

I knew the day we started dating it was just a matter of time. I knew God had answered years of prayer by protecting and walking with Andrew and that I finally had a face to go with my intentions.

The advice Jen gave me almost 20 years ago was invaluable. Through it I gained a sense of Andrew’s soul plus the understanding that it was possible for me to love him before I knew him. And you know what’s so cool? Andrew was also praying for me. I was blessed by prayers of which I was totally unaware.

Y’all. Think of what people could do. Think of how marriages would be spiritually armed if we taught our kids to pray for their future spouses years in advance. Think of how marriages would be totally different if we kept it up after the wedding. Even outside of a vocational situation, entrusting the future of your work, your family, your life to God’s care is the way to cultivate a sense of humility. It’s an act that confesses that God’s will and plan are immense and that they absolutely include the loving best for your soul. Whatever you wonder about, whatever you worry about, give it to Jesus.

A few months into marriage I became an middle school English teacher, blessed with a sweet group of 7th graders. We started each class with prayers for their futures, especially their spouses. “They’re out there,” I told my kids. “Start praying for them now.”