Keeping up with the Joneses is exhausting. I’ve caught myself nearly despairing that I’ll never achieve the same heights as those I once admired, and admittedly became jealous of at some point or another.
Does a feeling inadequacy ever just get to you? Shoot you down to a point where you feel like your efforts, creativity, etc. are just not worth much? That thing you do seems impossible to maintain?
Yeah, me neither.
HA – kidding. So so kidding.
My own writing history is a testament to the emotional roller coaster I put myself through when I’m trying to do what everyone else does. I’ll be on a passionate streak producing a solid handful of posts each week and then my page goes silent. Something, or more likely someone(s), needs me more than my blog does. My intended short absence morphs to a long one when the devil gets a foothold, hissing the suggestion that plagues when I feel like I don’t have it in me to keep going: Just quit.
There are other bloggers who know ten times the success that I do. That girl over there has a huge Facebook following and a full speaking schedule; another girl is working on a book; another is bigger than the Beatles and doing her thing on EWTN; yet another invests all kinds of cash into her immaculate page.
In all my sizing up and jealousy, I let out a frustrated groan, “WHY NOT ME, LORD??!!”
Then comes the Holy reply, “Why not Me, Catherine?”
And I grimace in guilt.
“God has not called me to be successful, he has called me to be faithful.” Faithful to him.
Answering God’s call is an easy yoke and a light burden when my objective is to do whatever he tells me. My confidence lies in Christ and I can float above the jealousy nonsense and see clearly that God inspires me to do something very specific and unique to my soul. I have to keep my eyes down, focused on my patch of the Catholic blogosphere, and plough through the fog from Satan.
What’s funny is when the gracious Lord gets wind of me signing off for good, he showers me with orders from others: my mother-in-law flat out telling me “Don’t stop!”; my best friend assigning me to write a book; a couple of sweet, holy women asking me to interview on Catholic radio; the supportive friends sending me articles to share; and a stranger on an airplane who said, “YOU need to get out of your way.”
The very first posts to grace The Catholic Wife were small thoughts and prayers of a brand new wife trying to navigate brand new marriage. I tried to draw close to Christ to determine what he wanted me to do in the day to day. This blog, my work, is not about me. It didn’t start out that way and if I’m going to glorify God with it, it certainly can’t become that way.
Whatever your work is, entrust your doubt to Christ and let him stomp out the devil’s nagging taunts. Jesus will speak to you in scripture, through saints, and words of encouragement from friends. He will answer those who ask in earnest, “What do you want of me?”
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“Why not Me?”- awesome!
Keep up the good work!!
Thank you, Patty!
This post spoke to me so much I don’t even know where to begin. I alWays love the way you write and more particularly the message. It’s so obvious you write for God and not to gain followers for yourself. If I ever get a show on EWTN or hit it big time, I’m so promoting you.
Oh Anabelle – I wish I could tell you how your comment especially lifted me 🙂 Your honesty absolutely shines through your writing, making you so trustworthy. I could be wrong, but it seems like such a rare quality.
Let’s make a pact – whoever makes it to EWTN first promotes the other 😉
Katie, this is a great post. Thank you for being so honest. Because if any blogger in the history of blogging is being honest: we’ve all struggled with some of all of the same things. Like you, it’s so true for me: my blog is a barometer for my spiritual/psychological/physical/mental well being from Day 1 to present. It’s a little intimate to think about, really. For a long time over the past three years, I didn’t have the energy to write or anything I was able to write about. But like you, God and my family and friends wouldn’t let me quit!
You have a missionary heart and a great voice, and God has plans for that.:) Keep settling in to marriage and motherhood with four children. I will keep an eye out in my inbox for when the floodgates open and the fruits of your patient, humble labor in this season bloom in the form of posts that will bless me and many others. Huge hugs and spirit fingers of encouragement and prayers from Baton Rouge!
Please do keep up the good work! I think it’s refreshing to see a Catholic mom blogger not post everyday — it is so much more relatable to my own life as I ponder how to get a shower every day, let alone post on the Internet! It’s not how often you post, but what you write, which I have always found to be orthodox, but compassionate, and always encouraging! Thanks for your little patch of the Catholic blogosphere. 🙂
This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this, and for not quitting. I think we all feel like quitting, at least in some seasons of life, and even more so when we start comparing ourselves or focusing on what the world defines as “success” rather than what God’s plans for us.
Certainly don’t quit Katie. Thank you for your insightful and inspiring posts!
Kathryn you are so so sweet. I appreciate your support because I admire you and your work so much! Thank you for all you offer through your page.
Your humility always shines through. I turn to your blog for inspiration often. Thank you so much.
Colleen, you are so kind. Thank you for your encouragement!