Crisis Magazine published an article on Friday entitled “Of Dave Ramsey, Babies, and Birth Control” in which contributor Richard Becker asserts that the Dave Ramsey approach to finances “is not for childbearing Catholic couples who take the teaching of the Church seriously.” Basically Becker’s argument, based on a citation from The Dave Ramsey [Radio] Show, is that Catholics who don’t use birth control can’t subscribe to Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps.
Now, I’ve made no secret of the fact that we follow Dave’s advice to the letter; or that it’s enabled Andrew and I, a single/modest-income couple with three small boys (and hoping to be blessed with more), to have financial peace. So naturally, Becker’s article forced me to examine our practices. Are they, is Dave, against Church teaching? No worries, fellow Dave fans – they’re not and he’s not.
Mr. Becker gives an excerpt of transcript from a radio conversation (<–audio clip and transcript) between Dave Ramsey and caller, Karen, who sought advice on adapting the Baby Steps to her and her husband’s family of 9. Becker was bothered by the exchange because Ramsey, on the surface, might seem to chide his caller saying she is “carrying too much” by having 7 children. For context, read the whole transcript or listen to the clip; rest assured that Dave tells Karen that she and her husband are “carrying too much” to be gazelle-intense about dumping debt, specifically, that they won’t be able to move as quickly. Rather, he encourages them to plow through like a Clydesdale, with a plan that will move slowly. “But the Clydesdale wins,” Dave cheers, “They just win in a different fashion than the gazelle wins.”
Twice the article alludes to the idea that if we don’t use birth control, then we can’t plan for family growth. Becker states that because the Catholic Church forbids the use of contraception, “we can’t choose” when babies come, since every instance of the marital act is and should be inclined to the procreation of children (read: open to life). While the statement on Church teaching is true, we can and should choose by using our God-given reason. Yes, “God always gets a say,” in the number of children a couple has and we should always be open to life; but we’re not helpless puppets, dumbfounded every time a baby comes along. Though we don’t use contraception, Catholics are free to employ Natural Family Planning for both achieving and postponing pregnancy, which works with God’s will and His gift of human reason. A couple can plan having children and prayerfully discern whether to postpone pregnancy – by abstinence for just causes – or welcome another little one (CCC 2367-2368). Even if NFP isn’t used, the very fact that Catholics are called to be open to life necessitates a plan if and when a new soul graces their home. But let’s be real here – unexpected pregnancies happen and sometimes seem to come out of the blue. It’s still possible to plan financially at least a little bit in the 9 months before the baby debuts and some prep is better than none. At this point, Becker advises what seems to be thoughtless submission saying:
” …since Catholics—i.e., Catholics who choose to follow the teaching of the Church forbidding contraception—can’t exactly plan ahead anyway, why not throw caution to the wind, and lean heavily on the Providence of God. If He decides to bless you with another child, then it’s His problem to help you make ends meet.”
I’m all for relying on God, but this statement implies a notion of utter helplessness, like we’re just victims to whatever happens happens! “Lean[ing] heavily on the Providence of God” requires active faith and trust. Trust is not sitting on a bench wishing you could run a marathon – it’s an active thing that pursues training and discipline. So goes the adage, “God helps those who help themselves.” If God blesses your family with a surprise baby (or maybe many surprise babies!), live simply to make ends meet; children are always more valuable than material luxury. God will certainly provide, but it’s up to you to stand up and move to receive His blessings. And I think a child qualifies for Dave Ramsey’s famed Emergency Fund for unexpected, big expenses in life.
Becoming debt free and saving up for a fully funded Emergency Fund (a suggested 3-6 months of expenses) is possible with sacrifice and persistence, and it just might take a lot of both. For some it’s taking on a temporary second job, but Becker finds fault with this idea and uses Pope Francis’s advice, “Waste time with your children,” to oppose that particular approach. Pursuit of being debt free and saving up has many faces, however. Sometimes it’s the additional job, dropping credit cards, or cutting Netflix (which we just did) and other discretionary funds from your monthly budget. Simple dinners at the kitchen table versus drive-thrus on the way home, or all of the above at once. And if after all your cutbacks and efforts, debt remains, then keep doing your best! Moving slowly is better than throwing in the towel saying, “I’ll always have debt.” In his conversation with Karen, Dave mentions that the Baby Steps don’t change one bit with a large family; going through each one might more look like a Clydesdale effort, but it’s all worth it for the sake of your family. Debt isn’t a good thing to heft around – “The borrower is slave to the lender” (Prov. 22:7) – and if you can conquer debt to create a home more welcoming to receiving more children, then by all means proceed!
I disagree with Mr. Becker’s assertions and believe his logic to be well-intentioned, yet incomplete. In fact, I wager his understanding of Dave Ramsey’s perspective and principles would change were he to go beyond his read of Total Money Makeover several years back, as he admits. Take the class, borrow the audio CDs from someone who has them, and listen to the show. Dave Ramsey says over and over that in practicing financial prudence, in becoming and staying debt free, you can teach your children responsibility in a million ways and eventually “change your family tree.” It’s all possible, no matter what size family you have. Andrew and I work hard, do the best we can, and we remind ourselves that we’re – to use Dave-speak – “living like no one else” for the sake of stability but more importantly, for our children and future children.
So glad you took the time to engage that article! Am grateful you took the time to write a thoughtful response. Well done!
Good response. I’m glad you brought Becker’s article to my attention. I feel like he approaches it all in a cynical way, which is disappointing. His focus is much more on Dave’s long term plans for financial growth and appear to dismiss the early, much more important goals of debt elimination. With statements like, “Dave would have those parents out working a second job in order to pare down their debt and work toward a life of leisure in the future,” Becker dismissed the part where the second job is only till the debt is cleared (and to avoid snowballing debt through credit card interest, etc) and moved his focus to what some might consider a worldly take on finances. His analysis seems superficial to me, I guess, and I hope he won’t turn too many good Catholic families off from considering Dave’s plan for financial peace. We haven’t implemented it well recently, but it’s always in the back of my mind, and has made me a better steward of our finances for years, even if we never get past Baby Step #2!
Also, I agree that Becker puts too much emphasis on the idea of our helplessness as Catholics following the Church’s teaching. We PLAN to choose to follow God’s will and the Church’s teachings. We are not helpless. We are FAITHFUL. I found this bit borderline insulting:
In other words, contra Ramsey, Catholic couples with lots of kids don’t always choose it that way—we can’t! Dave’s whole approach is based on planning, and you simply can’t plan when you don’t use birth control, because God always gets a say.
We leave more to God’s will than those who contracept, true! But it’s because we are CHOOSING to do so. And PLANNING to do so. Which leaves me with the belief that we need to live all the more frugally and cautiously as we PLAN for those possible babies in our future. Building credit card debt now will not help us provide for our growing families later.
Phew! I’m done now. Sorry I hijacked your comments, Katie!
Great job, Katie! I hope your post gets circulated around as the EXCELLENT refutation to that article that it is. Thanks for being a good example of what it looks like to be hopeful, cheerful, hardworking, down-to-earth, encouraging and downright inspiring in you and Andrew’s unity on your finances and lifestyle decisions regarding money. So many of us need to see an example of a couple like you living it out in faith–and still having fun and living a good life doing it. 🙂
Oh my GOODNESS, Erin. You really are too kind. Thank you for your encouragement!
Thanks, Katie!! I read that article and shook my head! All I could think was much of what you said above except you are much better at putting it to pen than I am!
I also had a problem with Becker’s neglect in mentioning NFP and taking Dave’s statement entirely out of context. However, why are so many Catholics followers of Dave Ramsey, when there is a good Catholic alternative in Phil Lenehan’s Veritas Financial Ministries? Phil is entirely in life with Catholic teaching and life (including the importance of Catholic education for children if a family isn’t called to homeschool, even if that means building up the emergency fund and getting out of debt will take a lot longer). There’s nothing wrong with Dave Ramsey, but I think we should support our fellow Catholics if possible, and in this case, it is.
Ellen, thank you for the information! I think so many Catholics subscribe to DR because his name is well known; he has classes, a website, a radio show that’s nationally broadcast, conferences, etc. His information is contagious. He’s not only a finance guy, but a motivational speaker, too, and his presentations make people excited about succeeding in temperance. To speak for us, we haven’t followed Phil Lenehan because, until now, we hadn’t ever heard of him! That’s awesome that there’s a “money man” who upholds Catholic Church teaching and can appeal to so many Catholic situations. We’ll check him out! Thanks again!
It’s kind of strange that hardly no one’s heard of him. Maybe I’m just a “Catholic Geek” and I’m immersed in too much Catholic media. But Lenehan has all that too (well, he’s not a motivational speaker, but has classes, a website, a radio show, etc.). He has a column in Our Sunday Visitor and is a pretty regular guest on Catholic Answers Live. I must just live in a “Catholic Bubble”.
Thank you so much for writing this article! My husband and I are Protestants who are on the Financial Peace plan, and we have been practicing NFP for about a year now. This article by Richard Becker was brought to my attention by a Catholic couple we are friends with. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. It was like this guy completely misunderstood Dave, and had obviously never listened to him. Worse off, our friends seemed to believe the article. I can not tell you how many times Dave has said something to the effect of “When its time to have babies, its time to have babies. The financial plan doesn’t change.” Sometimes Dave says it has to go on “Pause” but I have never heard him say “You shouldn’t have babies”. We currently don’t have any children, but hope that changes soon. I am currently staying at home and we live on my husband’s modest $27,000 a year income. And in the past it has been less. We are currently $300 a way from finishing Baby Step #1, definitely in Clydesdale mode. But we are already seeing improvements. We have just a little more room in our budget now. We have learned a lot about how to run a household frugally. I have no doubt that should babies come, it won’t even effect our grocery budget too much, not for a while anyway, because I am able to keep a well stocked pantry, full freezer, and full refrigerator on a modest budget already. Enough to feed probably two kids. Your right though, the key is sacrifice and hard work! I no longer spend over $100 on hair cuts, I found a talented young hair dresser who does it for $40. We no longer wear designer clothes, but what is fashionable and practical on the clearance racks. We have one car,a 96 Subaru wagon. In the summer we picnic in parks for dates, we sell and trade our old things to buy the things we really want, and use no contract “dumb phones”. It’s hard work and its definitely not looked upon as a normal thing to do. I can not tell you how many times I’ve heard a family member say “Look go to (so and so) and he will give you a good deal on financing a (insert item here).” The look on their face when we say “No thanks, we’ll manage somehow until we can pay cash” is always one of either frustration or stupefaction. Sometimes its hard, and we have to humble ourselves and rely on others for help. Sometimes we don’t know what to do, but God always seems to deliver. Further proving to us that God will always provide where our budget fails. We know it will be worth it! The biggest reason people criticize Dave Ramsey is because deep inside, they themselves are not ready to make the leap of faith, sacrifice, and do the hard work necessary to be debt free. Dave is right, finances are a behavior issue. And every Christian, Catholic or Protestant, knows most behavior issues, are heart issues.
Rachel, what an awesome response! I love your line, “The biggest reason people criticize Dave Ramsey is because deep inside, they themselves are not ready to make the leap of faith, sacrifice, and do the hard work necessary to be debt free…finances are a behavior issue.” BAM – there it is.
Nice going with cutting back for your modest income! Depending on your willingness, you might be able to save more on haircuts if you cut it yourself, which by the way, I’m way too chicken to do, so I go to “Wonder Cuts” and pay $15 +tip. But I get my hair cut so rarely, maybe every 6 months or so?
THANK YOU for the inspiration!! Keep it up with Baby Step 1 – following Dave’s advice and keeping our noses to the grindstone has yielded nothing but money in the bank and closeness in our marriage. We have obstacles between us, but money isn’t one of them.
God bless, girl!!