The Heavenly Power in Fathers

We have a while before Father’s Day, but I’m reflecting a little early. It was one year ago today when we learned our newest little bundle was made of Sugar and Spice.

The delights and nuances of the father-daughter relationship are new in our house. Our daughter (I still can’t believe I get to use that word) is a darling 6 1/2 months old and like her brothers before her, she wiggles, squeals and smiles at anyone who looks her way; but something remarkable happens when Andrew walks in the room.

Shes doesn’t just smile, she charms.

At a glance from her dad, she suddenly becomes a sweet coquette seeking his attention, and the man who is rough and tough with his sons turns into melted butter in her tiny hands. Her pretty face warms in his gaze, she blushes and hides her smile in my shoulder, and immediately Andrew stretches out his arms to hold her. “Well hello, Beautiful!” With her dad, our littlest laughs and stares in a way she doesn’t with her brothers or me; it’s obvious that, even this early, their relationship holds a different dynamic simply because she’s his daughter.

Stasi Eldredge, co-author of Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, asserts that every girl wonders deep within herself: Am I lovely? Am I worth your attention? and every girl will spend her life searching and hoping for an answer. We want to know we’re beautiful and irreplaceable, Eldgredge says, and we especially want to hear a yes from our fathers.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? Think of any classic little girl behavior – playing dress up, dancing, putting on Mama’s makeup to look pretty – these are all attention-getting behaviors seeking affirmation. While I wasn’t prone to twirling in dresses as a tomboyish daughter, I sought my dad’s attention in other ways: lingering around him while he did house projects, going for a rides in his truck and as an adult, calling his office from college because I missed him. I wanted his time and attention. Fathers are intelligent and invincible in their daughters’ eyes – an ideal recipe for safety and assurance – and they’re blessed with a natural inclination to protect. It’s no coincidence that with this nature, a father possesses the ability to demonstrate to his daughter that she is captivating and worthy of love.

Possessing the ability, however, isn’t enough. The nuts and bolts of fatherhood are God-given and under a sharp lens, it’s clear that God contains within him the same expression of strength that he bestows to dads. What else should we conclude but that dads are supposed to love their daughters as God does, to be conduits of his own strength as well as his gentleness? Regardless of a daughter’s age, her dad can tell her “Yes, you are worth my time and attention,” in a myriad of ways. I know a dad who asks his 4 year old on dates – he wears slacks and a tie, she wears a dress, and he takes her out for ice cream; another dad never misses his 12 year old’s soccer games, which is a challenge for his work schedule; on visits home from college (or marriage) my own dad routinely asked about how work was going, our family, and our house. Each circumstance involves a father extending a hand to his daughter to tell her she’s important and worthy; a priceless and life changing message. A daughter on the receiving end will carry it with her and hold it as a standard when choosing a husband, and before then, when choosing friends.

 

The power and influence of fathers is easily unnoticed in the daily grind, but it’s in the midst of the ordinary that fathers can convey the most extraordinary gift to their daughters; daughters who desire nothing more than to feel beautiful and worthy from the first men who loved them.

 

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